Philosophy, Fire, Cycling

Original Post: January 9. 2019

This post was originally from 2019 but the inspiration still runs deeply within me and I hope it inspires you.

This morning I had one of those philosophical moments, you know, the kind that you randomly have in the shower, driving in your car, or maybe like me while you’re on the cycle of your first spin class.

Maybe something they all have in common is a state of deep focus, almost mimicking meditation.

I walk into my first spin class and find the unexpected dark room with strobe lights flashing everywhere with a very enthusiastic group of people all lined up on their cycles.

Here is the mantra that brought on my philosophical moment, “you can’t stop me.”

As the instructor repeated it over and over and I started to say it to myself to distract myself from the intense fire in my legs, I thought to myself, that’s right, YOU won’t stop me. I wasn’t referring to anyone like my job, bad friends, or an ex-boyfriend but the “YOU” being me, myself, & I. I will not stop me from my goals, being better, or being stronger.

I am in control of my life, what I feel, & how I chose to live it.

That being said, that’s what 2019 is all about. Taking control of yourself and your own life choices. Accountability, self-care, and self-love.

Welcome, 2019. I’ve been waiting for you.

I'm wishing everyone a bright and positive 2021.

Positive Wishes,

Sara Maya

10 Unique Date Ideas For This Valentine's Day

When it comes to Valentine’s day there can be a lot of pressure to come up with the perfect gift or date for your partner. Here are 10 ideas to relieve you of some of that pressure and stimulate some ideas for a great date for you and your Valentine.

Romantic Scavenger Hunt – This creative and thoughtful idea can be a lot of fun. The hunt can start at the beginning of V-day and lead them to a romantic planned evening of your choice. The excitement of finding the next clue and moments leading up to the finale of the hunt can be special for you both.

Take A Getaway – Take a romantic getaway together even if it’s just a local trip a few hours out from where you live. Luckily this Valentine’s day is on a Thursday which is close enough to Friday for a perfect Valentine’s Day Weekend.

Go to A Drive-In – If you are looking for a romantic movie night that is different from the norm, look up local drive-in theatres. The old school way of watching movies can cause some romantic nostalgia. It’s a unique idea that’s different than just the everyday movie's date.

Cook A Romantic Dinner – Valentine’s Day dinners don’t always need to be spent at restaurants. Cooking a romantic dinner at home together or even taking Valentine’s Day cooking class is a great way to bond together and create memories.

Take A Brewery or Winery Tour – If you both share the love of craft beer or wine bring the love to a tour of one or the other. The trying of new flavors and sharing your opinions will surely bring more love to both crafts and the Valentine spirit.

Check Out an Exhibit – Look up your local museums and see what exhibitions are showing. There may even be romance-themed exhibits. Enjoy the fresh perspectives with one another.

Visit A Botanical Garden – If you both like to be in nature take a stroll at your local botanical gardens. Take in the peace and serenity of the beautifully crafted ambiance.

Go Off the Grid – If full of peace and serenity is what you want, take that alone time to the next level. Go camping together! Cooking smores in an open fire and cuddling up in a tent sounds very Valentine’s Day oriented.

Go Back to Where It All Began – Take your partner where you had your first date, first kiss, or where you knew they were the one. It gives you an opportunity to reminisce about how much your love has grown.

Painting with A Twist – Take a painting class together that has cocktails for a fun, creative, love-filled evening together.

Positive Vibes,

Sara Maya

Relationships & Their Lessons

Relationships are a unique journey to embark on... You learn a lot about one another in them and, in reality, can learn even more about yourself individually. I had heard few times in my life that your relationships with others are a direct reflection of yourself. Now that,, of course,,, doesn't apply to everyone. Some people might be downright toxic,, and you have nothing to do with it but be on the other side of that toxicity.

However, the primary thing I want to get across to you is that a relationship can not succeed or flourish without communication. Heck, it can't sometimes end without communication too. That being said,, it's also important to realize that almost any relationship will challenge you. But it's vital to recognize which challenges are for healthy growth or the deterioration of your sanity. I can relate to both kinds of relationships. Now don't get me wrong,,, I'm not regretful nor should you be of a relationship that ultimately wasn't meant to last.

It teaches us many things... Such as the good, the bad, and the downright ugly...

Here is what my first real relationship taught me:

The Good:

- I was worthy of someone's love and attention

- How to share time with another individual

- How to be in a relationship period

The Bad:

- Superficially choosing your partner based on what society says is the right partner is not the way to go

- Someone who doesn't share the same lifestyle or life schedule isn't always going to work out

- You are not an object for someone to play with

The Ugly:

- If you don't talk about how you feel about things with your partner, you're playing with fire

- Gaslighting is the most aggressive and even passive-aggressive form of betrayal from your partner. I personally consider it a form of emotional abuse. (See gaslighting definition below)

- Never stay after extreme red flag behaviors have occured

- Bottling up emotions within a relationship or in general is fuel for an emotional explosion. Sometimes we can end up exploding on the wrong people like our friends and families not necessarily the individual who is on the other end of causing the emotions.

In case you haven't heard of or know what gaslighting means here is what it is according to the Journal of Humanistic Psychology:

Gaslighting is a conscious or unconscious form of psychological abuse that occurs when a perpetrator distorts information to confuse a victim, triggering the victim to doubt their memory and sanity.

Basically, it's super messed up. If you find yourself going through similar traits that gaslighting victims have gone through in your relationship, you need to do your best to take a step out of your relationship to get some clarity. Don't isolate yourself. It's important to speak with someone like a loved one or a professional about this to gain the support you need to leave the relationship.

Now the great thing about leaving a relationship that just isn't working is that you become aware of what you do and don't want in a future relationship...

Which leads me to my current relationship....

I've been happily in my current relationship for almost 2 years now. It's obviously had its ups and downs but it is one of the realest relationships I've ever had. At its very core is communication. We communicate very clearly. Yes of course in the beginning it was very difficult. It requires such a vulnerability and a high level of intimacy to share your fears and insecurities with someone you are getting to know and deeply care about what they think about you. However intimate communication is the fertilizer of a healthy relationship.

I'm a very emotional person and it has in the past not been in my favor in several different ways when I've not kept them in check. A very helpful piece of advice I can recommend to you that has helped me have a healthier relationship with myself and others is acknowledging the emotion in the moment I feel it and how it makes me feel. Then after that moment I move forward and not let the emotion completely over take me.

Healthy relationships require you to be in control of your emotions but to address them with yourself and your partner.

Here is what my current relationship has taught me:

Love:

- My self love floruished while in this relationship which if I am full of love for myself I will therefore be full of love to give to others

- Love always wins

- Love is shown in many ways that are not physicalities

Communication:

- Share your true feelings and in the moment

- Trust in your partner not in your insecurities

- It's important to give each other space

Recognition:

- Let each other know what you appreciate about each other

- Give gratitude to one another

- Make sure to highlight the positives and not only the negatives

Whatever your relationship journey is make sure it's a symbiotic one filled with love, happiness, and loyalty.

Positive Vibes,

Sara Maya

Check out my podcast on relationships with a guest speaker giving us the women's perspective on relationships here.